when it comes down to creation, you have to allow them to make mistakes.
maybe the whole meaning of life is to learn from our mistakes. to learn.. and to identify our mistakes and correct them.
maybe.
theres a damn line. egoistic, ignorant brats lashing out and i have to take it all in? improve? because i fucked up? not them? i need to cover all the holes? i'm not good enough.. what warrants them to demand a satisfactory performance?
leadership is not a fucking ego trip. if the team is not functioning, there is a point i think when the leader stops looking and straining at his own flaws and decides that his followers are fucked up. if they are willing.. TAKE OVER! 6 months balancing 2 teams. At the end of it, I have had it with all the prodding and poking and the mudslinging.... all done to justify their own ego trips. undeserving by far!
it is not an ego trip. im fine following. i humbly step down.
i am the only protector of my ego.. from this onslaught. am i not right to protect and defend it? or is that egoistic? if my place is not to lead you, then you lead. is that ego? or should i hold and take whatever abuse these people hurl out of their arrogance and ignorance. the hardest thing.. is to lead arrogant sheep. they dont listen and they bite! kindness does not work, neither does rationality.
if its important enough to me to fight for, i would fight. but i am not hard up on the position nor "privilege". go ahead. eat your heart out.
Open cascades life reminders
i wish i could remember
how's the outside view my friend
The thrill, the moment, the blind disasters
Honest its a bitter taste
It's all made to measure, these mortal days
but hold again this void is peculiar
it doesn't conclude and nobody answers
does it come together, does it all make sense now
they say the outside view is meant
for no one but those who already see it
What more depressing thought than a father, looking into the eyes of his children, wishing he was a little smarter, wishing that he tried harder in life, wishing he was better.
and yes, this is probably an entry.